there are three things that hold true

they say death + taxes are two constants in life. but what if you don't pay taxes? and what if you never die? *cough* amelia earhart *cough* then the supposed 'law of life' doesn't hold true. let me tell you what does hold true...for everyone on earth. and it's three things, not two:

1) at one point you'll say or do something like your parents.
2) at one point you'll look at yourself in the mirror and actually tell yourself that you..would probably have sex with you..if you were a different person.
3) all good bands must die or go on hiatus

everything else is in god's hands. however, even god can't control all things...god can't control the aforementioned. it's your destiny as a human being to fate fail (ie. what you ultimately try to avoid ends up happening in the end. it doesn't mean the 'great' event is the end all occurrence. it just means that no matter what level, you're going to end up doing something you've been trying avoid for whatever length of time. it could be something as small as taking out the trash. it could be as big as killing your arch-nemesis (ie. wolverine v. sabretooth or superman v. lex luther or ric flair v. terry funk). some of us spend an unncessary amount of time trying to avoid sounding or ending up like our parents, but the odds are against us thanks to dna/nature v. nurture/the cruel world of inheritance. i was one of those at one point..."fuck, there's no way i'm going to end up doing anything involving communications and networking...who do i look like!?!?! my fucking father!?!? i'm not oedipus!"

and then i end up going to school for mass communications. *sigh* curse you irony. just like i've spent the majority of my life playing guitar in hardcore bands (the ironclads = my first "pop" band, first band playing drums.) trying to grind out my musical ambition in a sandpaper like fashion. but in the end, i'm going to reach a point when i'm in a band that sounds like sea and cake. i'm just going to have to come to grips that you can only play blast beats for so long and feedback isn't as welcoming to the thirtysomething circuit...rock n' roll retirement looms around the corner. scary and i'm not even that old. ps. the sea and cake are a really good band that you should check out. make love to them. get high to them. whatever.

secondly, everyone has good days. it doesn't matter if you're feeling the blackest period of depression or you're prometheus and you get your organs and flesh eaten everyday by a monstrosity of a raptor sent by zeus. even he who discovered fire had to have had a good day somewhere in there. and on one of those good days prometheus undoubtedly thought, "if i weren't the prey of a bird as big as mt. olympus, i'd hella copulate with me if i were someone else...for sure." and you've done the same thing, i know you have...don't lie to me. i know i have. even when i was an awkward depressed teen with manboobs big enough to breast-feed myself at any given moment. there were a handful of times where i thought "if i drank enough...i'd totally fuck me with the lights off if i were some random girl." and i continued to sporadically repeat the same soliloquy in the mirror until i got my first girlfriend. you have a story not unlike mine..probably without the sucking on your own manboobs part...but still. (editor's note: i never actually took part in the sucking thy own teet. sorry to get your hopes up.)

thirdly, all of us have seen the demise of our favorite bands. if that's not the case, then chances are you got into a band after they had already broken up and kicked yourself for not getting into them when they were still around. and i'll talk more about this for my next post...probably this weekend or something. but the ironclads are going on a hiatus. we still love you, don't worry. we're still going to play shows, just not as frequently. and we're still going to record our new songs that will launch into outerspace in terms of popularity...much like craig david. mr. jamie cotton, singer/songwriter/great roommate/friend is moving to Denver (sweet city! go broncos!) to attend grad school. he's going to be studying foreign affairs. wish him well. buy him a drink at our upcoming shows. tell him what's he meant to you as a friend. in the words of al sharpton, "love on him if you will." (editor's note: al sharpton never actually said that...but that sounds like something he'd say.)

in other news, i'd like to tell all of seattle to shut the fuck up and stop bitching about the weather. you assholes complain all year about waitiing for summer and then once summer gets here you can't take it. sure, it's hot, i get it. shut the fuck up and go for a swim. make yourself a goddamn smoothie. i'm going to tell you like i tell my summer camp kids "complaining about the weather doesn't make it any colder."

-pdb